Spencer

So some of you are wondering how and why they would diagnose Spencer with bipolar disorder. And I understand how some of you may be concerned about him having that "label" put on him at such a young age. So I am going to explain things as best I can here.

As you may know he has a history of violence at school, he has been expelled, and suspended more times than I want to count. Every one who works with him including us has always said that he is the sweetest kid and loves everyone, but when he gets mad or frustrated it is like a switch turning in his brain, and he completely changes personality. He has no control over what is happening, and what he is doing.

Now look at Casey... And ask yourself if she had gotten the help she needed at a young age would it have helped. Without that diagnosis I may not have been able to get Spencer on an IEP, and he would have continued to get thrown out of school for every little thing. Which is a huge hit to his self esteem, especially when he has no control over it. He would not be getting an education, because they would continue to try to keep him in a large classroom. (Where he does not learn because he gets overwhelmed by the noise, the kids, and the environment. Not to mention his learning style is completely different.)

During the testing process to put him on an IEP he was tested academically, and as far as that went he is actually on the gifted side of things. In fact reading on an 8th grade level. He is the kind of kid you show him something once and he just knows how to do it from then on, he doesn't need to repeat the same material for a week, like the average kid (including Conrad). So he gets bored with the material, really fast. On top of all the other complications that come from his disorder.

As a parent it is my responsibility to help him. For us that meant that he needed this, in order to force the schools to do the right thing. As sad as that is, they would not work with me until I had that diagnosis (even though they should have done this years ago). Now I understand that many of you think this is wrong to have him "labeled", however, we did what we needed to do to get him the help he needed.

After Casey's funeral I took a long hard look at the approach that my parents took, as well as a long hard look at the approach that we had been taking. And then after listening to spencer say that he wanted to kill himself repeatedly over the summer, we made the decision to take him in and have him evaluated. That was in July, it was August when we finally started to feel like we were getting somewhere.

So to put it bluntly after losing Casey the thought of losing my son because I didn't get him help when he was young enough to listen to me was too much. So in part I did this for my own sanity, as well as, looking out for his future.